Good Lord, that's inappropriate.

Once upon a time, the world was going to come to an end.  Some ancient race, way back when, had predicted the death of the universe, and mankind had refused to accept the evidence of their impending demise until the last possible moment. Procrastination was always going to be an addictive habit, until the end of time-oh wait.

So with the end of the world exceedingly nigh, the inhabitants of the soon-to-be-no-more earth sought to right their wrongs against one another, in the spirit of it being quite literally “us against the world.” The Middle East got its act together, the Republicans and Democrats finally saw eye-to-eye on fiscal policy, and the fundamentalists apologized for being such giant assholes to everyone else. And then, in the biggest outpouring of love ever, all of the parents who’d disowned their homosexual children apologized profusely and invited them all home for one last family dinner. It was beautiful.

And when everything was at its purest and the only emotion felt across the globe was sheer love, the members of the ancient race who’d had themselves cryogenically frozen and launched into space decided not to blow the earth to smithereens.

The world lived in constant fear of their impending demise peacefully ever after.

You are probably a lovely person. However, you listen to Jack Johnson, who is an asshole. Therefore, by association, you are also an asshole. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.